It Is Well With My soul

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Have you ever been in God’s waiting room? I am in the process of waiting for my new book, The Covenant Keeper to be printed. Because of technical difficulties, it has been a long process. However, that is not the only “waiting” I am doing.

It just seems many things in my life are shifting. I have heard the Lord speak about a new season, a new direction and my heart has said yes to His nudging. This means I have pulled back from some of our usual meetings and am waiting for the new thing.

Waiting…. Waiting… Waiting… Waiting for the new. As one friend put it, “You are in the waiting hall of the Lord. One door has closed and the new door has not opened as yet. And so you wait….”

This morning as I was “waiting on the Lord” I heard him ask me, “Is it well with your soul today?” I stopped for a moment to take inventory. Did I feel peace? Anxiety? Fear? Joy? After checking, I realized that yes, it is well with my soul.

You see, God’s waiting hall is not a place of emptiness where nothing is taking place. It is a place of preparation, of taking off the old clothes of the old season and being ready for the new outfits, the new mantles of the new season. A place to stop, take inventory, and learn to trust Him all over again for the new.

Earlier this week I felt anxiety over several things. I knew I was still in that waiting hall and I wanted out! Yard work to be complete, emails to answer, projects to complete, the book, the ministry, my life. And why were my new flowers dying, for heaven’s sake! I was ready to move forward. Ready for the new door to open. Yet, there was nothing I could do but wait. After venting all of this to my long-suffering husband, I realized the things that caused me to feel the most anxious were the things I could not control. After a few frustrated tears, His peace came and BJ was quite relieved. (BJ did buy me some new ferns to replace the dead flowers.)

 

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THANKS, HONEY!

 

This morning my prayer was, “Father, why was I so anxious earlier this week?”

His answer, “Look at your flower beds.”

That was a strange reply. Then I noted that all of my flower beds had distinct borders. Gently the Lord spoke, “You don’t enjoy flowers that might get outside of the borders. That would feel out of control to you. And neither do you like for circumstances in your life to be out of control, outside of the borders you have created in your heart or mind.” Ouch! I began to see the earlier anxiety had come from situations in which I was not in control. My children’s choices, the publication date of my book, our ministry, and so many other projects. I realized, yet again, that in order to walk in peace I had to learn a new level of trust. This is a lesson I have walked out over and over and over again but one I frequently forget.

Trust. Simple trust in the most trustworthy one of all. My Father.

So in taking inventory this morning, I smiled and said, “Yes, I trust you all over again. You have never failed me and you won’t start now. It is well with my soul.”

Will this next season require swimsuits or snowshoes? I don’t know, but I do know my Father is preparing me for either one as I wait in His waiting hall. Whenever the new door opens it will be the right door, the right time and I will be ready. Yes, “It is well with my soul.”

 

Trust. No Borders. My Next Room?

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Spring!

The first thing the Lord did when He created man was to place him in a garden. So many times Jesus spoke of farmers, crops, and flowers. One of my favorite scriptures is from Matt. 6: 28-29“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.”

 

I have been quite busy working in my garden and loving every minute. There is something about digging in the dirt that brings fulfillment to my heart and fullness to my soul. Psalm 23 that states, “He restores my soul.” For me, one of the best ways for my soul to be restored is to have dirt under my fingernails. Last year was such a busy year for us and by the end of 2017 I was quite burned out. I seemed to have lost the joy of everyday life. Talk about a dry spell. So the Lord in His mercy has had me to pull way back on many things, re-evaluate everything I was doing in ministry and just rest. No, not sleeping, but finding rest for my soul.

How would the Lord restore my soul? My body was fine. My spirit seemed to be in touch with the Holy Spirit. But my soul? Dry, tired, no joy and even a feeling of sadness. I needed restoration.

Matt. 11:28-30. Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

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I began to ask, “Lord, how do I walk with you, how do you do it?” I thought I needed to be at every meeting, in touch with every person I knew, take care of all the problems of my children (ouch!) and the list goes on! Talk about two big issues.

Number one: Who is in control? I quickly discovered it was not me!

Number two: I had a big case of FOMO-Fear Of Missing Out!!!

As I surrendered Number One to the Lord and am learning to release others to him and to say “No” to other things, BJ is still traveling to many meetings and prayer assignments. I am staying home, planting flowers, digging in the dirt.

The second one seemed to be a little more difficult. I had a big case of the “what if’s.” What if no one remembers me? What if I miss out on the Big Thing? What if everyone is there…. And no one misses me? You see, we all want to be invited to the party! No one likes to be left out.

And guess what? Most everything, all the meetings, went right along without me just fine. Does that mean I’m done, not important? Not at all. You see I have found peace working in my garden. The Master Gardner is right there with me, enjoying the beauty He created and I help to grow.

When the time comes, if it comes, I will be back out there, going and doing. But my prayer is that I will be wiser than before, I will pray to hear if I am to go or to stay.

If I go, he will direct me, I will walk in joy and fellowship with others and love the busyness of it all, especially the opportunity to teach, share and pray with others.

If He says stay, I will be content to stay, be quiet and be still and KNOW that He is God. You see, that is where my soul will be restored. That is where I will find his rest. That is where I will find Him: In the garden looking, smelling and enjoying the lilies. I will be walking in the unforced rhythms of His grace. In my garden.